Relationships can be stressful, I mean, half the time. But long-distance relationships?
That one is just so very tricky.
This story is from a lady (Name withheld) here in Nigeria in a long-distance relationship with a guy in Canada. Living with the fear that her ‘boyfriend’ is slowly leaving her!
Here’s her story:
Dear Agony Aunt,
I’m writing from a place of fear and confusion. I have been with my boyfriend for three months before he left for Canada. Things were absolutely amazing when he was here (at least when I could see him and all). Since he left for Canada, everything started to die down. we text less and call more and sometimes he only calls me when I’ve tried texting him all day with no reply. I don’t know if I should go on. I am a pretty babe and I have lots of guys asking me out. But He’s the one I want.
Sometimes I feel I’m only holding on because we’ve invested so much in this relationship. I helped make his travelling possible and now he hardly calls me or text me. He has literally changed. I am scared and unhappy. Sometimes I imagine the worse. I don’t know what to do. Please advise
Hmmm, I will try and give my best advice on this, however, you can drop one or two concerns to help
I was recently reading the book ‘The Art Of Thinking Clearly’ and hearing your story just reminded me of a chapter of that book. It came with a story which I’ll quickly share:
So Bola and Emeka are lovers and they thought of what to do over the weekend. Bola quickly suggests they go see a movie and Emeka agrees. They went to the movies. Five minutes into the movie, they both realised how stupid and unworthy of the N1500 they paid.
Emeka quickly says, ‘Babe, let’s go joh… This film na nonsense’ Bola looks at him and rolls her eyes saying ‘After we paid 1k5? No way!
Quick question: Will sitting through the movie give them their money back? Or perhaps, the movie may just turn out good before it ends. The first is impossible but the second has a 50% chance of happening.
My Honest Advice
Yes, you may have invested a lot in that relationship and it may feel terrible if you gave up now. Honestly, it’s not going to be the end of the world. So just like Bola and Emeka, you can either sit through the relationship until you’re certain it’s over or, you can forget about him and move on with your life. Better days ahead.
Just keep in mind that all that you have invested can not be recovered. It’s the cold truth, but it should be a guide for you moving forward.
I hope I have been helpful.
Do you have any story you want to trash out? Subscribe below: